THE CONFLICT

How did it happen?

Mrs. Godzilla was baking a pie like she does every Wednesday, but she ran out of apples for the pie filling. She knew that Mecha Godzilla had an apple tree in his backyard and that she could get tasty Granny Smith apples from the tree, since Mrs. Smith lived there and threw apples down to good genetically-altered mutant superdragons. She went next door and politely knocked on the door, smoothing her dress to present a carefully-groomed appearance. She knew that as an old military robot, Mecha Godzilla was a stickler for protocol and neatness. When the rusted robot answered the door, she knew something was wrong...she could smell the cheap Night Train through the screen door. The cursing got louder until the glowing eyes of the once-powerful metallic justice robot appeared in the dark hallway. 'Excuse, me, sir?" she whispered, "Can I maybe go around back to your apple tree and shake it for apples?" "NO!" bellowed the grinding voice of the machined monstrosity, "You damned kids always goin' roun' and shooting jellyfish out the sky! Get out, afore you anger up my blood and I hafta larn you with this here leather belt!"

Oh no! Mrs. Godzilla barely dodged out of the way of a half-full bottle of Night Train that burst through the screen at 600000000 mph! The bottle rocketed into Tokyo Tower, sending it crashing to the streets below! Mrs. Godzilla screamed and ran back to her house, where she threw the pie ingredients in the trash can! She was SOOOO upset, she cried all day, even thougb she knew Mecha Godzilla wasn't mean. He was just a slave to the cheapest hobo liquor that money could buy.

Godzilla came home from work at the construction site and put his monster hard hat on the table. He saw his wife crying and said, "Woman, what kind of fool thing you do now?" Mrs. Godzilla said, "Oh no! It's Mecha Godzilla, he threw a bottle at me when i asked him for some apples! I know he is a wino, but I just wanted to make a pie!" Back to TOP

"Well, I was gonna go to my fan club meeting, but now I'm gonna go teach that sucka a lesson! I pity the fool that mess with Godzilla wife!" He stomped off to show Mecha Godzilla right!

Godzilla stomped over to Mecha Godzilla's house, kicking over a business building full of pregnant women, small children and old people on the way.

He pounded on the doorframe until Mecha Godzilla stumbled out onto the porch. Godzilla then said, "FOO'! You done scairt my wife away and throwed a bottle of that fool liquor at her so now you got to get your whoopin'! Now, fight like a 170 foot tall robobeast!" And so the battle line was DRAWN!